The Oppressing Spouse

THE OPPRESSING SPOUSE…..

Alhamdulillaah! Indeed, all praise is due to Allaah Subuhanahu Wa Ta’ala. I praise Him and seek His help and forgiveness. I seek refuge with Allaah from my souls’ evils and wrongdoings. He whom Allaah guides, no one can misguide; and he whom He misguides, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no (true) god except Allaah alone without a partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His ‘Abd (servant) and messenger.

What is OPPRESSION?

Oppression may be defined as anything unjust or cruel exercise of authority or power upon another person or animal. At times, it is a way of overweighing the other person which later became DEPRESSION.

In the Islamic context, Oppression means to take away other people’s property without right; to beat, abuse, and mistreat them; and to take advantage of the weak people and the poor followers. Allaah Subuhanahu Wa Taala says in the Quran:

“Do not suppose that Allaah is unmindful of what the unjust and oppressors do. He only gives them respite until a Day when the eyes will stare in terror as they come hurrying on in fear, their heads upraised, their gaze not returning to them, and their ears blank. And warn mankind of a Day when the punishment will come upon them, and then those who commit oppression will say: *“O Lord, give us respite for a little while. We will respond to your call and will follow the Messengers.” Thereupon they will be told: *“And did you not swear earlier that there would be no ending for you?* And you dwelt in the dwellings of those (earlier peoples) who wronged themselves (and were destroyed), and when it was made clear to you how We dealt with them and We set forth examples for you.” [Qur’an, 14:42-45]

And He also says:

The way (of blame) is only against those who oppress people and rebel in the earth without justification; for such there will be a painful torment.” [Qur’an 42:42]

You can see that Kitaabu Was Sunnah [Quran and Hadith] never keep mute on anything in our life untouched or unspoken of on individual or between spouse. Spouses should be fair and just in dealing with each other. They should avoid oppressing each other in any way. Oppression has been prohibited by Allaah, even upon Himself.! Abu Tharr [Raadiyallaahu Anhu] said Allaah Messenger said: Allaah says, “Oh my servants! I have indeed prohibited injustice upon Myself and made it prohibited among you, so do not oppress one another.” [Recorded by Muslim]

Jabir Bn Abdillaah [Raadiyallaahu Anhu] said that the Prophet said: Avoid oppression because oppression will result in deep darkness on the Day of Resurrection, and avoid stinginess because stinginess destroyed those who preceded you”. [Recorded by Muslim, Ahmad and others]

Let no feeling of superiority and dominance creep into the heart of either of the two spouses, causing him (or her) to oppress the other spouse, thinking that he (or she) has accomplished thereby a well-earned victory. Let them beware of a secret curse that may arise from the heavy heart of an oppressed person. Anas Bn Malik [Raadiyallaahu Anhu] said Allaah’s Messenger said: ” Avoid the oppressed’s supplication (against you), even if he was a Kafir, because there is no barrier in it’s a way (to Allaah). [Recorded by Ahmad and Abu Ya’la and others].

Allah’s Messenger (Peace be upon him) said:

“Allaah grants the oppressor respite, but when He finally seizes him, He will not let him escape. He then recited: *“And such is the grasp of your Lord when He seizes them while they are doing wrong. Truly, His grasp is painful, strong.” [Quran, 11:102] [Recorded by Bukhari]

Abu Hurayrah [Raadiyallaahu Anhu] said that the Prophet said:

“If anyone has done wrong to his brother about his honour or anything else, he should make reparations to him before a Day in which there will be no Dinar or Dirham (no Naira, no Dollar, etc). If he has any good deeds to his credit, they will be taken from him to the extent of his wrong-doing, and if he did not have any good deeds, the evil deeds of the wronged one will be loaded upon him.” [Recorded by Bukhari and Ahmad]

Are we seeing that oppression is a great SIN before Allaah and His Rosul that warrant His punishment in both lives? If you are in one way or another oppressing your spouse in any ramifications [be it Food, Clothing, Sex, Talking, Emotional Abuse, Physical Abuse, etc], please seek forgiveness and repent away from it for the rest of your life before it’s too late. Men oppress women AND women oppress men. Let’s beware!!!

*BHMC 2 COUNSELLING*

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