Lost But Found 1


The first series issue we will be looking at is the issue that has become a very serious threat to many surviving Marriages. Even, as it is seen, to be the early collapse of many homes. To some people, it is an attitudinal issue, to others, it is a moral/religious question while for some, it is a matter of civilization and modernity. It is the issue of WIFE’S SUBMISSIVENESS to her husband.

This has become a very genuine question begging for answers among believers and non-believers to know what is acceptable, demarcating borderline between a submissive wife and an enslaved wife.

With the way the world is today, the matter of a wife being submissive has become a critical issue in modern and contemporary Marriages. During a Pre-Marital Counselling class session, which I held in a Mosque for some group of Couples, a sister asked this question; and looking at her facial expression, I could see the very sincere concern of a sister getting ready to enter into a lifetime Amanah called marriage, in which she is unsure of what awaits her. Her question Was, *what is the difference between a submissive wife and a slave wife?

With the above frank question from this innocent sister, the class became noisy with murmurs and whispers from brother and sister (classmates). Some already read from her question that, the man who would end up marrying this sister is in deep trouble. To some sisters, her question was a good and welcome inquiry, expressing their fears in the presence of their to-be husbands. As a counsellor, I saw a candid sister in need of a guide to surviving in her Marriage.

Allaah Subuhanahu Wa Ta’ala has divided the responsibilities and duties within the family and has set the man as the one in authority. The woman should not reject or challenge that authority. Rather, she should accept it in fulfilment of Allaah’s commands. She should view her submission to her husband’s authority as a submission to Allaah’s decree because it is an act of Ibaadah. This submission should almost reach the degree of prostrating to her husband.

Aaishaah, Abu Hurayrah, Muadh and Buraydah reported that Allaah’s Messenger said: “Were I to order a person to prostrate before another person, I would have ordered the woman to prostrate before her husband.”

[Recorded by Tirimidhee, Ahmad, Al-Hakim and Ibn Majah].



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